Hugging my mom tight I was surprised with what I felt, tears, not too many, but enough to wipe away, enough to notice. My stomach was upset, I at least knew that would happen, but leaving for India was exciting for me. After finding my seat and preparing for the next 16 hours in the air, I was pleased with the traditional, non-English speaking Indian sitting next to me. After an hour, I was relieved he got up to move seats. He wasn't the issue though, it was the battle inside me. It was my head freaking out, asking myself, “What on earth am I doing traveling to India with a return ticket not returning until next year?” It was my heart reminding myself I knew exactly what I was doing, I was following God. Sixteen hours of an internal battle, sixteen hours praying to God. I faced reality, I was scared. I found myself praying a lot about going through customs, knowing that I only had an American phone number to offer, no address, and a ten year tourist visa got my mind thinking they might not let me in so easily. Once again, though, I found God to be good, with the man working customs not saying one word to me, not even “Hello.” I was praising God with every step I took, until I continued to trace my steps back and forth only to find the same Indian people trying to communicate something to me I was not understanding. “Just act cool,” I told myself, I was good at acting like I knew what I was doing, that is until I found myself outside the airport in New Delhi at ten o'clock at night with crowds nowhere to be seen. There were about four Indian men and a few taxi drivers, all a good distance away from each other just staring at me, watching my next move. How was I suppose act like I knew what I was doing when there were no crowds to hide my uncertainties from my distance stalkers? Easy answer, there was no way.
All through Biblical History, God has used both negative and positive circumstances to grow His people and prepare them for future service.
Joshua was no exception to this process. God used three very important events in His life to prepare him to lead His people Israel. I was to share with you how God used these events to prepare Joshua for what he had prepared for him.
- Joshua battled with Amalek (Exodus 17:8-16)a. Joshua chose the men (vs. 9)b. God allowed victory when the hands of Moses were raised (vs. 11)
- Joshua accompanied Moses to get the Law (Ex. 32:17a. The kept him pure from the golden calf
- Joshua spied out the Promised Land (Numbers 13, 14)a. Joshua and Caleb tore their clothes believing God to triumph (Num 14:6)
The sovereign hand of Almighty God was obvious in the life of Joshua. He allowed difficult and trying circumstances that were preparing him to confront the rigors of spiritual leadership. By the next morning I had made it into down town New Delhi, a trip I was not planning on taking, and was now at another port of the airport ready for yet another departure. Looking back, I surely see how delicately God's hand protected me as I went from someone who rarely cries to a lost little girl desperately calling on her Father for help and guidance.
This experience alone has allowed me to surrender some of my tough layers I never knew I was hiding beneath. It has allowed me to see God as my Father in a way I never saw Him before, a daddy holding the hand of his baby girl, only allowing her to go where He leads. At times He leads us into deserts, other times on top of mountains. Whatever the situation He has taught me to remember that He is always God and He is always good. I can see how the trip to India alone was a big preparation for my time spent in India when I would be put in leadership positions I was not expecting. He tests us time and time again to check our hearts and to benefit us. If we were never broken, we would never experience the healing process. And in our brokenness it is key to remember that no trial is deeper than His love that comforts all our sorrows.
Hakuna Matata
