I'm Too Tired To Blog...

...but I wanted to let you all know that I leave in 6 days!  

oh snap!

Piranda Naal Vaazhthukkal

Translation...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Last week I had a birthday!  Yep, I am now old and all I do anymore is sit on my front porch in a rocking chair with my snuggie and yell at the hoodlum neighbor kids who don't do anything but cause havoc all day long.  

Okay.  Maybe I'm not quite that old (yet), but I have to admit, I am already not a fan of this whole aging thing and I am only 20.  I think I may have some difficulties as time moves on if this is my attitude now!  

Nevertheless, I did have a really wonderful birthday.  Waaaay better than last year when I spent almost the entire day by myself.  I guess that's what happens with other people work and go to school huh?  Bringing the focus back, this year's bday was great.  Let me take you on a bday tour...

First off, I got to sleep in a bit (ha, like I don't do that everyday).  Then after getting ready my mommy took me out for a lovely birthday lunch at Panera Bread.  My heart was happy (and it only get's better).  I had a HUGE caeser salad with broccoli cheddar soup and of course some bread.  Wow, my mouth is watering already!  This is making my tummy sad that all this food goodness happened a week ago, and not right now.

Moving on, we next went to the Christan book store and I got the book Radical by David Platt.  I have not yet read it but am super excited.  I've listened to his radical series online and love love LOVED it!  You really should check er out...if you want to be challenged to give your life to God and the hurting and broken and with it forgetting self and following Christ.  Just talking about it I want to listen again.  Maybe I will =)

After that we headed over to Barns & Noble where I picked up Shane Claiborne's book, The Irresistible Revolution, along with a couple killer journals (I'm a journal snob, fyi)

If you can believe it, it does not stop there!  That's right, next you know I'm drinking a hot white mocha from Starbucks.  I felt like I was on death row and got to choose my last meal.  It was great!  

We arrived home and got ready for the rest of my family and bff Katie to come over to enjoy (drum roll please)...AMERICAN CHINESE FOOD!  Man, is this making me want something to munch or what?  I really should stop, but I can't because I have not even gotten to desert yet.

Okay, are you ready for this?  Are you sure?  Peanut Butter Pie.  It's kind of a combination of peanut butter with a little bit of pie. =)  Actually, no.  This is not something I should even joke about it is that wonderful. 

What you do is lay-kle (it's a combination of "layer" and "sprinkle") a mixture of peanut butter and powdered sugar on the bottom of a pie crust.  Then pour vanilla pudding over that.  Next add whip cream, and sprinkle the top with more of the peanut butter and powdered sugar mixture.  If you want the recipe just let me know and I will be HAPPY to send it your way =) (that would also mean you made it to the end of this very long post, woo-hoo)!

Oh yes, Katie and I also gave each other henna tattoos too!  I wish they were real. =)  Who knows, maybe someday!

Hakuna Matata 

p.s. "Piranda Naal Vaazhthukkal" means happy bday in Tamil, the language spoken in Ooty, India
=)

Here Am I

"Freedom abuse is our future,

Heads turn; tell me what is a caste?

Say to the girl, wishing for death,

'Slavery’s a thing of the past'. "

Let me break it down...

"Freedom abuse is our future."  This is saying how our generation uses "freedom" as an excuse to do things they want...to satisfy their desires or get away with certain things.  I know this is a free country and we can do the things we want, but it seems to me that this tends to be taken a little too far.

"Heads turn; tell me what is a caste?"  The caste system in India is where people are placed in different levels or categories and there is nothing they can do about it. There are different castes for religious leaders (or holy-men), kings or great landlords, merchants and so on. Then there are the Untouchables who are also known as "non-people." They tend to do the dirty work and live in certain places to keep away from higher castes (because it is the higher castes who want them far away). Some of the Indian law doesn't even protect the Untouchables. The "heads turn" part is meaning that most people don't really know about this, and if they do, they turn their heads away because they don't want to get involved.  They hear about this, say, "That is not right," and go on eating their dinner.

"Say to the girl, wishing for death, 'slavery's a thing of the past'."  This is talking about modern day slavery. Many people don't know but there are more slaves in the world today than were seized from Africa during 4 centuries of the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade. I have heard many stories about girls who are sex slaves and how they pray for death because in their eyes death would be better than going through what they do every single day. I've also heard stories of girls who would run out in the street trying to get hit by a vehicle with the hopes of dying.

All in all, I am saying we tend to not take freedom seriously or hold it for all it is worth, especially as some would do anything to have the freedom we do.  A lot of people are ignorant about what goes on in the world...or, if they do know, they mostly do nothing about it.  I don't know what you think about this but to me it is just not right at all and I hope to be used to make a change.

"...Here am I.  Send me."  Isaiah 6:8

Lunch Menu

About three weeks ago my second little nephew was born into the world.

Levi Aaron.

Oh how I love him!

I am pretty sure I have never loved a new born baby as much as I love this little guy.  I think it's because I helped out while my sissy was prego and, I don't know...just feel like he's my own.  Now I am only his Auntie, I cannot imagine what it will be like to have children of my own someday (God willing) and the LOVE I will have towards them.  Oh Father, bless me with children, please!

=)

Seriously, I just want to eat him up!

He is so perfect and adorable he could be on a lunch menu!

I am trying to not think about the fact that I am going to miss months 2-8ish while in India.

 I am going to just pretend I am oblivious to that information and continue to just love on him like I cannot help myself (which I can't!).

Hakuna Matata

photo compliments:  Daisys&dots

(aka, the mother of this heavenly gift)

Oh Flesh

It's one of those moments.

I'm not really sure I know how to describe, but I do know that I am not a fan of these types of moments.

Am I excited for India?

Yes

Does it freak me out (in a good way) that I leave next month?

Yes

Do I think about this trip constantly (even when I'm not talking about it)?

Yes

Am I sad today about leaving?

Yes 

I know it is normal to feel sad about leaving but that doesn't mean I enjoy it.  

I'm sure a lot of it is just the unknown.  I don't know anyone there, I don't know what it's like, what my day will quite look like, or even what kind of food I will be eating.  I actually know this is a big part of it.  If I were to be going back to Kenya I would not be feeling like this (at least not as much) because I know what to expect.  I know people there, I know what it's like, what my day would look like (for the most part), and I would be extremely excited to get another taste of their yummy food. 

I know that's not all of it though.  I think the rest is selfishness (probably the first part could be considered selfish as well).  I think of the fact that the world will still be turning while I am gone.  My mom and dad will continue to have dinner each night, Christmas will still happen, friends will be engaged in school work, relationships, and life, my nieces and nephews will not wait for my return to grow, and the earth will not even know I am gone as it changes to colorful leaves, blankets of snow, buds of new life, and back to the never ending days of summer.  

I clearly understand that life will still happen but it's these small moments of sadness that hit me every now and again that bring me down.  I think of people I will miss, and my heart feels pressure as I miss them even now, even while I have a month until I leave.

Is it selfish that I want them to miss me like I miss them?

Oh flesh, please let me overcome you!

As I am writing right now, God is here.  

And as I am writing right now, God is in India.

As I sit in sadness,  God is comforting me.

As I sit in sadness, God is comforting the girls I will be working with next month.

 This is what I love about Him.

I love that I am sad right now, but can feel the sadness exiting myself as I write.  I love that it's not me, but that it's so clear that it's God.  

I realize that I will continue to have sad moments before I leave, and most likely way more while in India, but I also remember that God has called me to this and He loves me.  He seeks me out.  He guides me.  I remember all of His confirmation for India.  Most of all, I know that He has a plan for me, is always with me, and will never leave nor forsake me.