June 24, 2006.
Four years ago today.
The Heavens were getting ready for a big party in my honor.
Little did I know, this party would be life changing, and eternity lasting.
Four years ago today,
I gave my life back to it's rightful owner.
I remember sneeking down to the prayer tent so nobody in our group knew where I was going. Up until this point, I had fooled eveyone around me (including myself). I had answers for all the Bible study lessons, I was crazy about the Christian bands that were playing, I told others of my plans to become an overseas missionary (yeah, that was my plan even before I was saved...weird huh?). I had painted a picture of myself that was not myself at all. Maybe it was someone I wanted to be? Or maybe it was who I knew I should be.
I remember tears.
There was a realization that who I was and how I was living was painful for God to see. That He created me with different plans in mind. It was then when I decided to change. To throw off my old self and be covered with Christ and all He had in store for me.
I knew it was God. Not the group I was with or the bands that were playing. Not even the speaker who moved me to go down to the prayer tent. It was all God. He definitely used those people, but they were completely oblivious to it. It was God who used them, to get to me.
He saught me out.
He chased after me.
He made real His chesed love.
Four years ago today,
I gave my life back to it's rightful owner.
I remember sneeking down to the prayer tent so nobody in our group knew where I was going. Up until this point, I had fooled eveyone around me (including myself). I had answers for all the Bible study lessons, I was crazy about the Christian bands that were playing, I told others of my plans to become an overseas missionary (yeah, that was my plan even before I was saved...weird huh?). I had painted a picture of myself that was not myself at all. Maybe it was someone I wanted to be? Or maybe it was who I knew I should be.
I remember tears.
There was a realization that who I was and how I was living was painful for God to see. That He created me with different plans in mind. It was then when I decided to change. To throw off my old self and be covered with Christ and all He had in store for me.
I knew it was God. Not the group I was with or the bands that were playing. Not even the speaker who moved me to go down to the prayer tent. It was all God. He definitely used those people, but they were completely oblivious to it. It was God who used them, to get to me.
He saught me out.
He chased after me.
He made real His chesed love.
Che-sed (heh' said) [from the Hebrew word "love"]
1. Love that sticks with us even when we leave.
2. Love that never turns.
3. Love that is committed to you in all circumstances.
4. Love that is willing to forgive even the darkest sin.
I know that I could never have that strong of a love, especially for someone who willingly, knowlying chooses to go the other direction.
I love you God and I am so much more thankful for You choosing me than I ever let You know.
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