Pampered or Prepared

Hugging my mom tight I was surprised with what I felt, tears, not too many, but enough to wipe away, enough to notice. My stomach was upset, I at least knew that would happen, but leaving for India was exciting for me. After finding my seat and preparing for the next 16 hours in the air, I was pleased with the traditional, non-English speaking Indian sitting next to me. After an hour, I was relieved he got up to move seats. He wasn't the issue though, it was the battle inside me. It was my head freaking out, asking myself, “What on earth am I doing traveling to India with a return ticket not returning until next year?” It was my heart reminding myself I knew exactly what I was doing, I was following God. Sixteen hours of an internal battle, sixteen hours praying to God. I faced reality, I was scared. I found myself praying a lot about going through customs, knowing that I only had an American phone number to offer, no address, and a ten year tourist visa got my mind thinking they might not let me in so easily. Once again, though, I found God to be good, with the man working customs not saying one word to me, not even “Hello.” I was praising God with every step I took, until I continued to trace my steps back and forth only to find the same Indian people trying to communicate something to me I was not understanding. “Just act cool,” I told myself, I was good at acting like I knew what I was doing, that is until I found myself outside the airport in New Delhi at ten o'clock at night with crowds nowhere to be seen. There were about four Indian men and a few taxi drivers, all a good distance away from each other just staring at me, watching my next move. How was I suppose act like I knew what I was doing when there were no crowds to hide my uncertainties from my distance stalkers? Easy answer, there was no way.

All through Biblical History, God has used both negative and positive circumstances to grow His people and prepare them for future service.

Joshua was no exception to this process. God used three very important events in His life to prepare him to lead His people Israel. I was to share with you how God used these events to prepare Joshua for what he had prepared for him.

1. Joshua battled with Amalek (Exodus 17:8-16)
   a. Joshua chose the men (vs. 9)
   b. God allowed victory when the hands of Moses were raised (vs. 11)
2. Joshua accompanied Moses to get the Law (Ex. 32:17
   a. The kept him pure from the golden calf
3. Joshua spied out the Promised Land (Numbers 13, 14)
   a. Joshua and Caleb tore their clothes believing God to triumph (Num 14:6)

The sovereign hand of Almighty God was obvious in the life of Joshua. He allowed difficult and trying circumstances that were preparing him to confront the rigors of spiritual leadership. By the next morning I had made it into down town New Delhi, a trip I was not planning on taking, and was now at another port of the airport ready for yet another departure. Looking back, I surely see how delicately God's hand protected me as I went from someone who rarely cries to a lost little girl desperately calling on her Father for help and guidance.

This experience alone has allowed me to surrender some of my tough layers I never knew I was hiding beneath. It has allowed me to see God as my Father in a way I never saw Him before, a daddy holding the hand of his baby girl, only allowing her to go where He leads. At times He leads us into deserts, other times on top of mountains. Whatever the situation He has taught me to remember that He is always God and He is always good. I can see how the trip to India alone was a big preparation for my time spent in India when I would be put in leadership positions I was not expecting. He tests us time and time again to check our hearts and to benefit us. If we were never broken, we would never experience the healing process. And in our brokenness it is key to remember that no trial is deeper than His love that comforts all our sorrows. 

Hakuna Matata 

FYI

I am still alive!! =)

It's been a fair amount of time since being back from India and I thought I'd stop by and let ya'll know that I am still alive.

Right quick like let me show some more pictures from good ol' India.

 

 Waiting at the bus stop...quite the traditional look =)

 A pretty flower in my hair from one of the girls =)

 Here's my shower, my sink, and my toilet...guess which one's which.

 Another traditional man waiting for the train

 Henna I did that took me THREE HOURS STRAIGHT!

 Just drivin' down the street

 Love him =)

And this my friend was a special meal...yes, we ate with our hands!

Love it.

Hakuna Matata

One Week

Okay team...well here I go posting the second post of the month!  Way to go Sarah. NOT.  And I think I might just be real original again and do a pretty simple update blog.  In my defense I don't have much time and have barely had internet access this entire month!  Yeah, that's a good reason.  Okay, here I go...

-I successfully have taken two buses and a sleeper train and made my way 10 hours north east to Tamil Nadu's capital, Chennai.  I am here visiting my friend, Joshua.  He was an exchange student in my home town last year and now it's his turn to host an American.  The only bummer is he has exams this week (fyi, Indian exams compared to American exams are like comparing...okay after sitting here for a few minutes trying to find something nonviolent to compare it to, I can't...so we'll just say they are like gosh darn stinkin' crazy!).  His last exam is tomorrow so after that we will have the rest of the day and the day Thursday to hang out...great!  I'm looking forward to it.  While I have been here in Chennai his mother (who is super kind and great) has been showing me around and taking me to the important places...you know, churches and malls.  Seriously, we have gone to probably 6 different churches and 4 malls/shopping centers.  Dang girl!  It's been fun though.

-I am now short 3 wisdom teeth and praising Jesus about how well it went.  Seriously, the cost was somewhere around $1000 cheaper than it would have been in the U.S.!  C'mon America!  You are killing me!  Anyways, no complaining here because I didn't have to pay that much.  They dentists were really really great, the surgery went super fast, and they told me they even prayed for me the morning of the surgery!  Woo-hoo!  Thanks guys, two thumbs up!

-Right now I am visiting the Oasis ministry in Chennai.  I got to come and see the office and then spend the rest of the afternoon with the girls in their program who have learned how to sew their own clothes.  Wow, I honestly cannot tell you just how delightful these girls are.  I am so sad I cannot spend more time with them here.  We talked for a little while about our families and such, then we played a few games (I guess all those youth group games can be put to good use after all), after that they went back to their work and to finish we danced and took loads of pictures.  I don't have my laptop right now or I would upload them...I will try to do so later.  But really, they were great.

-Ummm I leave in t minus ONE WEEK!  Did I just type that?  I have never felt the way I do right now about leaving a country/mission field.  Maybe I'll try explaining more in depth another time...even then I don't know if it's possible.

-I have henna on my hands!  Love it!  On my right hand it's Rajistan (an area in India I'm told), and the left it's Arabic.  Again, pictures later.

-I'm going to Bible school in January!  Have I told you yet?  Well there ya go!  And yes, I am stinkin' excited.  New Tribes Bible Institute.

-Christmas is soon...like 4 days away.  woo-hoo!

-Aaannnnnnddddd I'm out of this to say.

Love Ya'll!

As they like to say here in India, "Have a Happy Christmas!"

Update!

Here's a quick update as I am babysitting in a house that has internet =)

-Three months ago today I left for India! Weird
-God totally helped me through a month of teaching the girls (mainly) by myself and I learned a lot in that month
-Christmas is in like 20 days!!!!
-We have started the process of getting internet at our house so hopefully I will be blogging more soon!
-It's super cold here...you would never guess I am in India
-I love the little coffee shop workers here...they are so kind and make little smiley faces on the top of my coffee =)
-I am loving the girls so much it's getting ridiculously nerve racking to think about leaving
-I am getting my wisdom teeth out (all four of them hopefully) this coming Saturday
-I have been listening to some new music and you also should listen to...Andrew Peterson.  LOVE HIM!  All of his stuff is great...especially his Christmas album!  Go check it out!
-God has been showing me a lot through the story of Abraham and Sarah and Isaac...I shall blog about it when I have more time
-Go read Isaiah 43:1-2 and feel loved, because you are!

Love ya'll!  Hope you're doing great =)  Love from India!

Hakuna Matata

My Plan

God's plan was for me to come to India in September to work with rescued girls through Freedom Firm.  All of the details of that first sentence were made very clear to me before I had taken off. 

My plan was to stay for six months, but the more I have come before the Lord the more clear He has made it that His plans were different.  Two nights ago I changed my plane ticket and I now will be leaving India at the end of December (just about two months earlier than the original date).  This decision has taken a lot of prayer, thought, and advice seeking, but I have come to the point where I can honestly say I have heard His voice, and as far as I'm concerned He is calling me home. 

It's been crazy, I feel like I was born to live overseas.  Throughout my missions career I have never felt homesick, but have strongly felt a desire to settle in the land so my relationships and ministry could take on a deeper level.  This decision is conflicting in the fact that it is difficult and easy at the same time.  I find it difficult when I think of the judgment of man and how I think it will actually be harder to leave early than it would be to stay (for many reasons).  But I find it so simple when I think about what I want my life to be used for (glorifying God) and who I am striving to seek and obey in this life (Jesus), no matter how difficult it may be. 

I think of the story of Abraham in Genesis 22 when God asked Him to sacrifice His only son, Isaac.  The next sentence after God tells Abraham to go to the place of sacrifice simply says this, "Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey."  That is the kind of trust in God I want.  I want Him to be able to tell me something, whether it is, "sacrifice your son," or "go home," and as soon as I hear his voice I want to "load up my donkey early in the morning," with no doubt in His guidance.

There are times I feel as if I could stay and it would be fine, I mean surely God would bless my time here right?  I actually do believe that He would bless my time in India if I stayed the full six months, but to me that isn't the issue anymore.  The issue is God told me to go home, and I want to respond to Him the best I can.  I think of John 10:4 where it says, "...his sheep follow him because they know his voice."  Again, I have heard His voice and I cannot deny what I know to be true in my heart.

Of course this doesn't all make sense.  Why would God want me to go away from the mission field?  Away from a place where so much help is needed?  First I have to remember that wherever I am placed is my mission field, India, Michigan, and anywhere inbetween, I am a missionary.  Second I think of Isaiah's words in chapter 55 verses 8 & 9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  This may be something I will never grow to understand, and I am okay with that just as long as I do understand that God is above me and He has my best interest in mind...even if I can't seem to understand it myself.

My plan now is to obey God, and as far as I am concerned in my heart and my mind, that is exactly what I am doing by flying home in December. 


Hakuna Matata

I Am Tired

Things have been hard lately, I'll be honest.  I am not sure I ever mentioned that this month (all of November) the main teacher is taking her holiday leave and I am stepping up as the teacher.  At first I was like, "What the heck are you doing?"  Then I was a little more okay with it, thankful that I had taken a teacher training course my senior year of high school and taught at numerous schools in Kenya.  Then the night before I felt physically sick and cried as I feel asleep.  Did I forget to mention that I am not the biggest fan of teaching?  Well then, let that be noted. =)

The first week actually went pretty well other than the fact that I was spread real thin...trying to run a school, business, and baby sit at the same time is quite the challenge.  But I made it only because Jesus was being the strength I needed.

I thought for sure that while the volunteers were here this second week it would give me a break and I could relax a little...but I was wrong.  The team is great, helping out so so much, I am just loving it.  But for some reason I am feeling more stressed and crying more tears with each passing day.  I have felt cut down, belittled, and have been told I don't seem to relate well with the girls (all from someone I have only seen a handful of times).  I keep telling Jesus I can't do it, and then I thank Him for not expecting me to, but for doing it through me.

I don't want this to be a complainy post, but I want to share my heart a little and not just pretend everything is 100% great all the time here.  Also, I know that great things can happen through prayer and it's always great to know what to pray for more specifically.

I remember talking to another missionary a little while ago about blogging.  We both said how it's kind of funny/annoying when we post stuff about the real life being upsetting or whatever because it's not 100% of the time that we feel that way, but the people reading it tend to think that's the case.  I want you to know that it is not the case here.  Jesus has blessed me in many many ways here.  Although I have felt put down this week, the volunteers have been more than wonderful at lifting me up and encouraging me onward, as well as some of the staff and some other long term volunteers.  And I have had such a blast hanging out with the volunteers this week!  It has been some great, "get away," time.  So again, I may be having a rough night and hit some tough times today, but that hasn't been the case all day so no need to get your panties all in a bunch on my behalf. =)

All this to say, I am thankful (day 10) for the promises given by Jesus.  Promises stating that He has overcome the world (John 16:33), He is with me always (Matthew 28:20), He looks at my heart (1 Samuel 16:7), and so much more.  Thank you, Jesus.  Continue to remind me!

SOUR PATCH KIDS?!

Day 8:  I have been reeally wanting some sour patch kids for a few weeks now.  I was skyping with my sister one day and saw my niece in the background eating some and boy, was my mouth a waterin'!  Anyways, I said there was some new volunteers here for a week and we have been spending a lot of time together.  Last night after dinner while we were just hanging around the restaurant still chatting Monique pulled out the last little bit of her sour patch kids.  I really wasn't implying that I wanted her to give them to me (not all of them at least...of course I was going to ask for at least one!), but I made a comment something like, "SOUR PATCH KIDS?!  I've been craving those for weeks!"  Yeah, that definitely sounds like, "Give me your sour patch kids," in code.  Well she surely understood the "code" language and kindly gave me the rest of them.  I was sooo thankful and immediately knew this was my thankful 30 for the day!  Go Monique and your kindness!  Also, go sour patch kids and my secret "not so code" language.

Day 9:  This was actually going to be my thankful 30 for yesterday but the sour patch kids kind of took over.  Nonetheless I am still super thankful for God's beautiful creativity displayed through His mountains.  Where I'm from in MI we don't have mountains.  Sand dunes, yes.  Mountains, no.  I remember when I was in Kenya and saw so many mountains that when I closed my eyes to pray or go to bed I would just see mountains after mountains after mountains.  It's like when you've been doing something all day like working on a puzzle or picking berries...at night when you close your eyes all you see is that image over and over again.  It was truly wonderful.  Well I praise my Father once again because He is kind enough to bless me with more mountains.  We went for a drive down the mountain yesterday and Saturday and although it made me feel really sick with all the quick turns and fast driving, it was totally worth it because it was not only close up awesome, gorgeous mountains and cliffs, but the clouds were really low too which made for such an amazing picture God didn't have to give me, but wanted to.  I decided to just try capturing the photo in my mind instead of on my camera (I knew the camera wouldn't do it justice anyways), so here is a picture from a while ago (father away than I was from the mountains) with the same idea.
 

Hmm...I just realized that I think I am over doing the thankful 30 journal, and am content with just an explanation and a picture =)

Hakuna Matata

We're Pretty Much Friends

Every morning I am faced with a decision.  And almost every morning I make the same choice.  The question I have to answer is simply this, "Do I leave 10-15 minutes early and walk all the way to the bus stop, or do I leave 10-15 minutes later and catch a rickshaw?"

Lately I have been thoroughly enjoying my mornings and so you can understand when I tell you that I have been taking an auto (rickshaw) so I can have 10 more minutes with God either reading, or worshiping.  Valid right?...time spent with God.  I think, yes! =)

When I ride in an auto to the bus stop I still have to walk about 10 or so minutes to the auto stand (unless an empty one passes me on the way there which I pray for EVERY morning).  The autos are then lined up across the round-about and instead of walking over there myself, I have become quite fond of making eye contact with one of the drivers with a smile and a head nod. 

This morning, however, there was no need for eye contact, or even a smile and head nod (but I smiled anyways).  In fact, there was no need to even tell the driver my final destination, I only said a confident, "Thirty rupees?" and got in the auto.  I could not help but laugh inside about the fact that I am now a "regular" in the auto world...we're pretty much friends. =) 

And this, my friends, is what your typical auto rickshaw looks like...

Now onto me being thankful...

Day 4:  I am thankful for the places I have been.  God has blessed me so much already in the places He has allowed me to travel...most of them being specified for His glory (which I guess every place should be for His glory, right?).  Kenya, India, Holland (don't be fooled, it's Holland, Michigan), Canada, inner city Philadelphia, West Virginia...oh how I love going to new places.  Thank you Jesus and I can't wait to see where you will be taking me next. =)


Hakuna Matata

A Day Worth Documenting

Twas indeed.  A little over a week ago I just had the bomb day.

It was my off day (starting off great already) and I had an unexpected skype convo. with my dear friend, Katie.

During that skype call, Martin (a man who works here at the guest house) came inside with a nice big package with my name on it...literally. =)  It was from my Momma and it only took one short week to arrive.  Wow, two thumbs way up for India's air mail (this time at least)!  Inside was complete with many goodies, including, but not limited to...skittles, a note from my sissy, a picture of a childhood friend, a stubby bottle of Sprite (America has stubby bottles, did you know?), and Cheetos.  Dang girl!

 

Later in the day I made a nice little trip to the market to pick up some veggies and let me tell you...the market's a steal!  I bought 8 bananas, 3 green peppers, 4 cucumbers, and 2 pineapples for a grand total of around $2.40.  I likey.  I also am going to feel totally ripped off when I go back to the states and buy one pineapple for $2.40!  Sheesh!  If only I could pack the market in my suitcase...

I probably am also going to feel so unimportant when I come back as well.  When walking through the market I constantly hear, "Yes Madam?" "Yes Madam?" "Yes Madam?"  And reply with, "Hi Sir."  "No thank you, Sir."  "So nice, Sir."  It's great.


Last but not least, let me introduce to you my sweet dinosaur that travels the world with me like a faithful dinosaur does.  It represents my friend, Katie (same friend I skyped with on this particular day).  I bought two dinosaur key chains before I left for Kenya last year...one representing Katie (the one on my backpack), and the other representing me (that one is on her backpack!).  When wearing my backpack and finding myself in a troublesome situation I like to remind myself, "Katie's got my back!" =)  Anyways, Jurassic Park must be a popular film here in India because everywhere I go I hear, "Jurassic Park."  At first I was unsure what people were talking about but it wasn't long until I caught on.  The kind man selling me pineapple made that comment when I was at the market last.  In fact, I have bought pineapple from him twice now and I do believe he said it both times.  Maybe I'll go back to him soon and flash my dazzling dinosaur, seeing if he says it again.  A little experiment.

What a packed day with so much fun stuff.  I wouldn't mind another "day worth documenting" sometime soon (did ya hear that God?=)

Hakuna Matata

p.s. I also made banana bread this day!

"Beloved" Enter the Worship Circle

"Those who put their hope in you will never be turned away,

And those who place their trust in you will never be put to shame."

I was listening to some music just now when this song came on.  It sent me back a little over a month ago.  I was on a plane, heading to India.  There were lots of emotions during that long flight from Chicago to New Delhi.  At times I was perfectly at peace, knowing this is where God told me to go, while at other times I would hold back tears and ask myself, "What the heck am I doing?"  That pretty much sums up my entire flight, well that and sleeping.  Other than that, from time to time I was overcome by what was going to happen when I arrived at customs and was asked, "What are you doing in India?  Who are you staying with?  How do you know them?" and so on.  You see I am on a tourist visa and that made it open for complications when I would say, "Yes it's a tourist visa, and yes I am volunteering with Freedom Firm."  The two don't go together and I was told that early on, but was also told just continue with applying for a tourist visa.  I would then start to think about the other questions they might ask me about who I'm staying with and whatnot, why was I nervous?...because I really didn't know how to answer that.  "Uhh, I'm staying in a guest house...I know some people in India, but only through email?"  I wasn't feel quite secure in my answers.  As I was freaking out in my mind the song, "Beloved," bye Enter the Worship Circle came on my ipod.  When I heard the sweet words, I was at peace.

"Those who put their hope in you will never be turned away,

And those who place their trust in you will never be put to shame."

"Well God," I thought, "It's time I put my hope and trust in you for this situation...You are much bigger than any situation that brings me fear."

It was such comfort and peace given from God, it was exactly what I needed.  

We eventually landed in New Delhi, I got off the plane, and followed everybody else to customs.  When it was my turn I stepped up to the Mr. Custom man, gave him my passport/visa, and the address and phone number of some missionaries here in India.  After a few short moments he returned my papers and waved me on with not one. word. spoken.  I laughed a little after I walked away because of the greatness of our God.  I have been through customs a few different times in different countries and each time the questions I was expecting were asked.  God is so good.  He calmed my fears, gave me hope to trust in Him, and worked everything out for His glory.  Praise be to God!

Hakuna Matata

My Eyes, Their Eyes

I lift my eyes up,

Unto the mountains,

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from You,
Maker of heaven,

Creator of the earth.

Oh how I need You Lord,
You are my only hope,
You’re my only prayer.
So I will wait for You,
To come and rescue me,
Come and give me life.

We sang this song the other day with the rescued girls before starting school.  Usually we start off the day with a Bible study, prayer, and a couple of worship songs, but usually all of that is in Hindi.  On this specific day though, we sang "I Lift My Eyes Up," and we did so in English.  As we were singing I had a bit of an awakening.  I thought about what these lyrics mean for American Christians compared to what these lyrics mean for a third world Christian, or even more specific, the girls that were sitting right in front of me.

For an American Christian I can see it being, "I need you, Lord...I need you to answer me about which step to take next.  I need you to give me grace when I mess up.  I need you for some sort of physical comfort or pleasure."  Don't get me wrong, these are legit prayers and God hears them just as much as the next prayer, but I'm sure that while asking God for help a lot of the "Western" plea tends to be a bit selfish (not all the time, but I can definitely see it happening quite a bit).  

Then I think of the girls that I see everyday who were rescued out of the sex trade industry.  What does it mean for them when they sing, "Oh how I need you Lord, you are my only hope, you are my only prayer.  So I will wait for you, to come and rescue me, to come and give me life."  Asking God for hope, realizing that He is the only prayer they have, waiting for Him to come and rescue them out of the Hell that they lived in.  How different is that prayer from the prayer we lift up as we sing this song?  

It breaks my heart for sure.  It also makes me reevaluate my life as I bring myself before God, realizing that my "problems," may not really be something to get worked up about.  Sure God hears my cry no matter how petty it may be, but again, it makes me think and if that's all it does, that's great.

Hakuna Matata

Spiders, Beetles, & Mice, Oh My!

When I arrived here in India I settled into a nice little room upstairs in the guest house.  I was told that bats have lived in that room before but it had been some time so I probably had nothing to worry about.  About a week later I started hearing my little "friend" speak to me at night.  I was not about to have the thing fly down and bite my face in the night so I took the kind offer of Christianna (one of the other volunteers here) and moved into her room downstairs.

Since I've been in my new room Christianna and I have encountered a nice big spider (who is now in Heaven), a wonderful beetle friend (we were kind enough to spare his life), and a mouse that I threw out of the house (but we're pretty sure he came back the very same night).  Wow, maybe the bat making noises upstairs wasn't something to move out about!  But nevertheless, it has been an adventure and I feel like I could now take on the world if ever need be.

 Our spider friend just moments before his death.

This my friend may seems like just an ordinary Cheeto bag, but I must tell you that it is much more!  We call this our "Indian mouse trap."  Clearly mice like all types of cheese because this is where the mouse in our room was camping out.  I kept hearing a crinkling noise as I tried to fall asleep a couple nights ago and finally I got up to check it out.  I figured out that it was the mouse in the Cheeto bag, in the trash can.  I debated for a little while weather I had the guts to grab the bag and throw it out or not and finally I manned up!  I may or may not have screamed during the process but the point here is that I took care of business.  As soon as I the bag hit the ground outside I saw the creature scurry away...only to come back and ruffle through another trash can later that night!  Oh India.

Here below is a clip Christianna and I took the night we took care of the spider...I had it all under control despite what it may seem in the video. =)

Don't Judge Me

I just have to say that I love being able to not shower for three days, and wearing the same clothes two days in a row, and not having a single comment made about it.

Go India! =)

Take A Looksee

Here are a few pictures I have snapped for ya'll.

Enjoy!

On the (7ish hour) car ride to Ooty

Am I the only one who LOVES the clouds being so close?

Such a pretty view from the school

Some of Ooty

I love the symbols, and I thought this was great because one of my supporting churches back home is the Union Church =)

Such cuties!

Love it.

Well there is a little sneak preview into the past week of my life.

Love ya'll!

Hakuna Matata

Look At The Time...

A year ago today I left for Kenya.  Today I am writing from India. 

I love that.  I love that God has plans and dreams for my life that I NEVER would have thought up on my own.  He is so far above me.  It's great!

Is this my first blog from my guest house?..yes, I think it is!  Well then let me just tell you how much I love it.  It is wonderful.  It's super cute, I wish you all could see it for yourselves...or maybe you could (hint hint, come do missions in India!).  I love everything here.  The weather is so nice and chilly; I heart wearing sweaters.  The other volunteers, wow, they are a blessing from God.  The owners of the guest house are super adorable too...them and their five children, oh my goodness, I am so delighting in God right now.  This day could definitely be consider "Thanksgiving Day" for me because that is the only prayer I have spoken to God so far.  I have thanked Him for anything and everything I see or think of.  I cannot help it, I am sooo grateful. 

Today I met 4 of the 5 girls in the aftercare program at the staff lunch.  They are great and I thoroughly enjoyed my time.  I totally forgot that I should be expecting spicy food.  haha, whoops!  No worries though, I remembered soon enough. =)

Right now I am resting and snacking on Pure Magic.  It's pretty much an oreo cookie...only spicy.  Okay, okay, just kidding.  That would be weird, it's not spicy at all.  It just more like the off brand of an oreo cookie.  Not bad at all.

There is not much more to say at this point except for I am blessed, loved, and tremendously joyful in Him.

Love from India,

Hakuna Matata

(can I do that?..."India" and "Hakuna Matata" at the same time?...)

The Eagle Has Landed!

Indeed I have!! I am sitting in a Hotel in New Delhi right now.  Hotel Impress actually.  And let me tell you, I am impressed!

Travel so far has been great.  I went from Detroit to Chicago on a baby plane.  Then from there it was a straight shot to New Delhi.  When I arrived and I gathered my luggage I was trying to figure out where to go.  After talking to a few different people I finally understood that I needed to take a bus or a taxi to the airport I will be flying out of to get to Bangalore.  After getting a ticket for a taxi, finding one and getting my luggage and myself inside, I was told by the drivers they could not take me to the airport.  After some time of me telling them I did not want a guest house but I just wanted to go to the airport now, I realized what they were trying to tell me.  They won't let anyone enter the airport until 3 hours before their flight.  I had about 7ish hours to kill so my driver (Kumar) took me to this hotel I am blogging from. =)  It is actually really nice, which I thought my mom would like! 

It is 12:43 am right now and my driver should be here around 2:00 am to take me to the airport.  I am nine hours ahead so at home (at least in MI) it's a little after 3:00 pm. 

My emotions have definitely gone back and forth.  And I have to remember that they are exactly that, "emotions!"  Anyway, at times I will be like, "Wow, thank you God.  The peace you are giving me is amazing and I can't even understand how it is happening."  And then every once in a while that changes to (with some tears), "What the heck am I doing?"  But it was good because every time I asked myself that I was like, "Oh yeah, I'm obeying God."  Gotta love His confirmation! =)

I just got a picture with the man who works here at the hotel.  He is very kind as well.  Enjoy and I hope to update you soon (also hoping I will have some more pictures for you)!

Here Am I

"Freedom abuse is our future,

Heads turn; tell me what is a caste?

Say to the girl, wishing for death,

'Slavery’s a thing of the past'. "

Let me break it down...

"Freedom abuse is our future."  This is saying how our generation uses "freedom" as an excuse to do things they want...to satisfy their desires or get away with certain things.  I know this is a free country and we can do the things we want, but it seems to me that this tends to be taken a little too far.

"Heads turn; tell me what is a caste?"  The caste system in India is where people are placed in different levels or categories and there is nothing they can do about it. There are different castes for religious leaders (or holy-men), kings or great landlords, merchants and so on. Then there are the Untouchables who are also known as "non-people." They tend to do the dirty work and live in certain places to keep away from higher castes (because it is the higher castes who want them far away). Some of the Indian law doesn't even protect the Untouchables. The "heads turn" part is meaning that most people don't really know about this, and if they do, they turn their heads away because they don't want to get involved.  They hear about this, say, "That is not right," and go on eating their dinner.

"Say to the girl, wishing for death, 'slavery's a thing of the past'."  This is talking about modern day slavery. Many people don't know but there are more slaves in the world today than were seized from Africa during 4 centuries of the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade. I have heard many stories about girls who are sex slaves and how they pray for death because in their eyes death would be better than going through what they do every single day. I've also heard stories of girls who would run out in the street trying to get hit by a vehicle with the hopes of dying.

All in all, I am saying we tend to not take freedom seriously or hold it for all it is worth, especially as some would do anything to have the freedom we do.  A lot of people are ignorant about what goes on in the world...or, if they do know, they mostly do nothing about it.  I don't know what you think about this but to me it is just not right at all and I hope to be used to make a change.

"...Here am I.  Send me."  Isaiah 6:8

Oh Flesh

It's one of those moments.

I'm not really sure I know how to describe, but I do know that I am not a fan of these types of moments.

Am I excited for India?

Yes

Does it freak me out (in a good way) that I leave next month?

Yes

Do I think about this trip constantly (even when I'm not talking about it)?

Yes

Am I sad today about leaving?

Yes 

I know it is normal to feel sad about leaving but that doesn't mean I enjoy it.  

I'm sure a lot of it is just the unknown.  I don't know anyone there, I don't know what it's like, what my day will quite look like, or even what kind of food I will be eating.  I actually know this is a big part of it.  If I were to be going back to Kenya I would not be feeling like this (at least not as much) because I know what to expect.  I know people there, I know what it's like, what my day would look like (for the most part), and I would be extremely excited to get another taste of their yummy food. 

I know that's not all of it though.  I think the rest is selfishness (probably the first part could be considered selfish as well).  I think of the fact that the world will still be turning while I am gone.  My mom and dad will continue to have dinner each night, Christmas will still happen, friends will be engaged in school work, relationships, and life, my nieces and nephews will not wait for my return to grow, and the earth will not even know I am gone as it changes to colorful leaves, blankets of snow, buds of new life, and back to the never ending days of summer.  

I clearly understand that life will still happen but it's these small moments of sadness that hit me every now and again that bring me down.  I think of people I will miss, and my heart feels pressure as I miss them even now, even while I have a month until I leave.

Is it selfish that I want them to miss me like I miss them?

Oh flesh, please let me overcome you!

As I am writing right now, God is here.  

And as I am writing right now, God is in India.

As I sit in sadness,  God is comforting me.

As I sit in sadness, God is comforting the girls I will be working with next month.

 This is what I love about Him.

I love that I am sad right now, but can feel the sadness exiting myself as I write.  I love that it's not me, but that it's so clear that it's God.  

I realize that I will continue to have sad moments before I leave, and most likely way more while in India, but I also remember that God has called me to this and He loves me.  He seeks me out.  He guides me.  I remember all of His confirmation for India.  Most of all, I know that He has a plan for me, is always with me, and will never leave nor forsake me.

How Did This Happen?

Somehow it happened.  I don't know how, but I definitely did not plan for this.  Somehow I missed it and will now be staying the night in an Indian airport. 

What the junk?!

How does someone miss that?  Maybe the fact that I had been looking at 12,000 different flights to Bangalore for the first week of September had something to do with my overlooking layover times for the flight I actually purchased.  Either way, I have come to the conclusion that I really can't do anything about it, so worrying is pointless (isn't it anyways?...not to mention a sin). 

Freaking out to my brother about it a little was the beginning of my calm, "it is what it is" attitude I now have.  He reminded me that Indians are smart and have to have a technologically advanced (or right on) airport. =)  Go Indians!  Then I remembered the airport in Nairobi and how I would feel totally safe and worry free staying the night there.  If Kenya's airport was stable enough for my liking India's for sure must be suitable.  I also realized that the airport I will be staying is the largest one in South Asia and in the capital city of India.  My thoughts and fears of a scary, small, leaky, unstable, dark airport left after I found out that information...really a little dramatic in the first place. 

Honestly though, the thing that most calmed my thought and slight fears was the fact that I will not be staying the night in that airport by myself, but my Father will be there with me.  He has planned this whole thing and I know He has not planned it only to leave me alone, scared in an airport.

How cool is it that He led me to this whole India thing, being with me every step.  He was there with me last night as I cooled down from freakin' out about staying overnight in the airport.  And He will be with me that night in September as I do stay the night in the Indian airport.

I thank Him and seriously do not know how people can live without Him.  He is my strength, my bravery, comfort, and so much more. 

"...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Matthew 28:20

Where In the World Am I Going?

Yes it is true!
This fall I am heading out once again, only this time I am going a bit farther...about 10 hours more by plane, to INDIA!!

I will be leaving sometime in the beginning of September, staying for six months, and working with the organization, Freedom Firm (FF).

FF seeks to eliminate child prostitution in India by rescuing minor girls, providing effective rehabilitation, and prosecuting the perpetrators of sex trafficking.

While in India my job will be to be friends with the girls in the aftercare program, love them, model Jesus, and help them with their bead making business.

I am extremely excited and extremely nervous, and even though I have feelings of, "What the heck am I doing?", I am confident in Jesus' guidance. I have been trusting and waiting, and this is where God has lead me. No insecurities or fears are going to stop me from doing what my Lord has so clearly called me to do. I have never realized how important confirmation from God could be until now. Until my flesh and human mind have tried to tell me this is too extreme, too different, too unpleasing to my parents. I thank my Father in Heaven for overcoming my flesh and mind, for overcoming this world and the things that are in it.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

I thank you for your love for me, oh Lord. I love you and will try with my heart, soul, mind, and strength to do so more each day.

Hakuna Matata