Oh Flesh

It's one of those moments.

I'm not really sure I know how to describe, but I do know that I am not a fan of these types of moments.

Am I excited for India?

Yes

Does it freak me out (in a good way) that I leave next month?

Yes

Do I think about this trip constantly (even when I'm not talking about it)?

Yes

Am I sad today about leaving?

Yes 

I know it is normal to feel sad about leaving but that doesn't mean I enjoy it.  

I'm sure a lot of it is just the unknown.  I don't know anyone there, I don't know what it's like, what my day will quite look like, or even what kind of food I will be eating.  I actually know this is a big part of it.  If I were to be going back to Kenya I would not be feeling like this (at least not as much) because I know what to expect.  I know people there, I know what it's like, what my day would look like (for the most part), and I would be extremely excited to get another taste of their yummy food. 

I know that's not all of it though.  I think the rest is selfishness (probably the first part could be considered selfish as well).  I think of the fact that the world will still be turning while I am gone.  My mom and dad will continue to have dinner each night, Christmas will still happen, friends will be engaged in school work, relationships, and life, my nieces and nephews will not wait for my return to grow, and the earth will not even know I am gone as it changes to colorful leaves, blankets of snow, buds of new life, and back to the never ending days of summer.  

I clearly understand that life will still happen but it's these small moments of sadness that hit me every now and again that bring me down.  I think of people I will miss, and my heart feels pressure as I miss them even now, even while I have a month until I leave.

Is it selfish that I want them to miss me like I miss them?

Oh flesh, please let me overcome you!

As I am writing right now, God is here.  

And as I am writing right now, God is in India.

As I sit in sadness,  God is comforting me.

As I sit in sadness, God is comforting the girls I will be working with next month.

 This is what I love about Him.

I love that I am sad right now, but can feel the sadness exiting myself as I write.  I love that it's not me, but that it's so clear that it's God.  

I realize that I will continue to have sad moments before I leave, and most likely way more while in India, but I also remember that God has called me to this and He loves me.  He seeks me out.  He guides me.  I remember all of His confirmation for India.  Most of all, I know that He has a plan for me, is always with me, and will never leave nor forsake me.

Four

June 24, 2006.

Four years ago today.

The Heavens were getting ready for a big party in my honor.

Little did I know, this party would be life changing, and eternity lasting.

Four years ago today,

I gave my life back to it's rightful owner.

I remember sneeking down to the prayer tent so nobody in our group knew where I was going. Up until this point, I had fooled eveyone around me (including myself). I had answers for all the Bible study lessons, I was crazy about the Christian bands that were playing, I told others of my plans to become an overseas missionary (yeah, that was my plan even before I was saved...weird huh?). I had painted a picture of myself that was not myself at all. Maybe it was someone I wanted to be? Or maybe it was who I knew I should be.

I remember tears.

There was a realization that who I was and how I was living was painful for God to see. That He created me with different plans in mind. It was then when I decided to change. To throw off my old self and be covered with Christ and all He had in store for me.

I knew it was God. Not the group I was with or the bands that were playing. Not even the speaker who moved me to go down to the prayer tent. It was all God. He definitely used those people, but they were completely oblivious to it. It was God who used them, to get to me.

He saught me out.

He chased after me.

He made real His chesed love.

 Che-sed (heh' said) [from the Hebrew word "love"]

1. Love that sticks with us even when we leave.

2. Love that never turns.

3. Love that is committed to you in all circumstances.

4. Love that is willing to forgive even the darkest sin.

I know that I could never have that strong of a love, especially for someone who willingly, knowlying chooses to go the other direction.

 

I love you God and I am so much more thankful for You choosing me than I ever let You know.

Too Easily Pleased

The other week I decided to take Alaina out for lunch after picking her up from school. Whenever we ask her where she wants to go out to eat she tells us McDonald's. Usually we end up going somewhere else, leaving her quite sad and maybe a little pouty for a moment. So even though I am not a huge McDonald's fan, I decided to give her a special treat this time.

When we got in the van I told her I had a surprise for her but she had to wait until we got there to find out what it is. She was so excited the whole way. I kept thinking, "Oh yeah, number one Aunt, right here in the driver's seat. She's gonna love this."

As I start to pull in the parking lot (while preparing for uncontrollable praise along with giggles and smiles lasting the rest of the day) I look in my rear view mirror only to see a small child with a confused, not so well pleased look on her face. I ask her if she knows where we are and if she's excited and to my surprise her answer was (in a whiney, ungrateful tone),

"I wanted to go to Chucky Cheese."

Now clearly she should have been happy with her special surprise (and after we got inside she was), but looking at it in a different light, she totally had the right attitude & mindset.

In his book, The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis writes this...

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Again, Alaina had high hopes. Her desires were strong and she was not putting me in a box by thinking I would not give her the very best, as often we do with Christ. If we think about putting anybody in a box God should be last on the list...or even not on the list at all! After all, is He not perfect? Did He not create YOU and the entire WORLD in which you live? Did he not create your very best friend? Did He not give you all that you do not deserve and more? He is a good God, while we are tiny, uneducated humans who don't give Him credit by imagining He really could give us the very best.

As I try to dream bigger than this world, I hope you join me. And together we can experience the things of this world that only take place on a holiday at the sea.

I Am Only A Child

Sweet face: true
I love her: true
She reminds me of myself when I was little: true
She never has mischievous moments: FALSE

Meet my niece, Addie.
Addie really likes to draw.
She is really good at it too.
I am impressed with the way this four year old stays inside the lines.

Now that I am done raving I do have to admit that sometimes she is so ready to color she doesn't even wait to have a piece of paper in front of her and instead draws on whatever she feels.
Yeah, she doesn't always think things through.

It was probably a couple of months ago when I came into the living room only to find a four year old eying the t.v. and running a pencil across the cream colored carpet floor at the same time. Trust me, some serious "time out" action was taken quickly. Drawing on things that are not paper is something we usually frown upon in this household. But it didn't stop there. It was a struggle to actually get her in time out. Yes, if you can believe it there was resistance on her part, lots of tears, and very loud noises coming from her tiny body.

Although she was not okay with me sending her to time out, it was something that had to be done. I'm sure she thought I was a horrible person for punishing her. Her mind is just too little to understand the importance, and that I am really doing so because I love her and want her to grow into the best person she can be.

When her time out was finished I called her over and asked her why she drew on the carpet.

"Because I didn't have any paper."

Wow, that was the answer?
She didn't have any paper?
We did have paper, it was just in the drawer!
How easy could this whole situation have been avoided if she only would have asked me if she could have a piece of paper to begin with?
I would have given her the paper and she would have been set. Instead, she decided to handle it on her own, resulting in punishment, a lesson (hopefully) learned, tears, and messed up carpet.

I think about this and it's so simple.
Just ask.
That's all.
Simple...right?

You would think so, but so often do I find myself as the child in this situation.
I forget that all I really need to do is ask.

God's Word tells us this...

"Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you."

Matthew 7:7

Still, a lot of the time I seem to go about it the same way Addie went about the paper situation. I see there is a problem, something unknown, something missing, and I try to fix it on my own. I may think it would take too much time to ask my Father, or maybe I just forget that I can ask or that He loves me so much and wants me to turn out the best I can, therefore He will answer me. I think my mind is too small to understand what He knows and why He does things the way He does. After the fact there may be punishment, a lesson (again, hopefully) learned, tears, and a mess left to clean up, all because I chose to take matters into my own hands.

I say it again, I am still only a child.
I pray to God for Him to work in me and for me to rely on Him more and more before there is once again, a "mess on the carpet" needing to be cleaned up.


Hakuna Matata

Where In the World Am I Going?

Yes it is true!
This fall I am heading out once again, only this time I am going a bit farther...about 10 hours more by plane, to INDIA!!

I will be leaving sometime in the beginning of September, staying for six months, and working with the organization, Freedom Firm (FF).

FF seeks to eliminate child prostitution in India by rescuing minor girls, providing effective rehabilitation, and prosecuting the perpetrators of sex trafficking.

While in India my job will be to be friends with the girls in the aftercare program, love them, model Jesus, and help them with their bead making business.

I am extremely excited and extremely nervous, and even though I have feelings of, "What the heck am I doing?", I am confident in Jesus' guidance. I have been trusting and waiting, and this is where God has lead me. No insecurities or fears are going to stop me from doing what my Lord has so clearly called me to do. I have never realized how important confirmation from God could be until now. Until my flesh and human mind have tried to tell me this is too extreme, too different, too unpleasing to my parents. I thank my Father in Heaven for overcoming my flesh and mind, for overcoming this world and the things that are in it.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

I thank you for your love for me, oh Lord. I love you and will try with my heart, soul, mind, and strength to do so more each day.

Hakuna Matata

Surrender [Part Two]

"I want to have a life of surrender for the rest of my earthy days."

"Surrender to God - we are not defeated, but sin is the one defeated, eternal separation from God is defeated, death has lost, a life of hopelessness, despair, and purposelessness is defeated."

"Freedom is born in surrender - we are free from the bondage of sin and death."

"I pray for surrender, for Your will and less of my desires."

"Self-denial."

"Submission."

"Surrender."

I was looking through my journal from last year when I was preparing for Kenya & found these words in which you have read above. Looking back, I laugh.

I had NO idea what I was getting into, nor did I take it seriously at that point in time. I remember trying to surrender before I left. I really tried. It was something I felt pressing on my heart, but was an infant when it came to the depth of it all.

That is where Jesus comes in.

I have no clue, but felt the need to continue praying for it, and you know what, Jesus answered my prayers in ways I never could have imagined & ways I never would have wanted. Though things have changed (praise God), I am thankful to my Father in Heaven for working in and through me. Now I truly can say,

"Father, I have surrendered so much of my flesh, so much of this world, and I am continually asking for help to surrender more. I praise Your Holy name because it is now that I can truthfully say,

you are enough for me."

I have realized that living a life of my own decisions, my own desires, my own dreams, is a life not worth living at all. The plans I now dream of are ones that my Father has lead me to. God is leading me somewhere with this whole surrender thing, and I am so blessed and grateful to be in such a position.

While in Kenya, a dearly respected woman I met told me you know you're on the right track when you can say,

"I'd rather drown with Christ than jump into another's boat."

mmmm...those words are wonderful to revisit.

Basically that's saying that even if it seems like following Christ would only hurt us and serve no good, we follow after Him anyways because our love for Him exceeds our understanding or worldly desires.

I love you Jesus. Keep taking my life.



Hakuna Matata

Look Up, Look Around

I spent some time the other day at a wooded trail with my friend Katie. We sat down in an open area by a big tree after walking for a while. There we took out our Bibles and journals and spent some time with God. Below is a passage from my journal that day...

It is so beautiful here, God. I love it. Thank you for such a wonderful gift to such undeserving people. We walked around for a bit, loved it, and now we are sitting by a big tree, on a log, having God time. When I look in front of me it is so pretty. I see a cute little path with green grass and tall tress on either side of it. Past that I can see the beginning of a bridge leading to the other side of the water. Above is the beautiful sky, so blue, with just a few soft clouds. The sun is shining down and I can't help but feel happy when I look ahead. Sounds wonderful, peaceful, happy, and great doesn't it? Yes, it does. And then I look beside me, where a foot away is the huge tree we are sitting under. Right now I am so close that I can see it's grooves, where people have carved in it, spider webs, dirt and dead leaves around it. In my mind it would seem most pleasant if I were to get up and walk away from this big tree. But then I take my eyes, and move them up the tree. When this happens, my mind is no longer focusing on the dirty, not so appealing parts of the tree anymore. But rather, on the huge and awesomeness of the tree. How my eyes can hardly wrap around it and I love that. How it continues to go up in greatness, beauty, and awe. I tip my head back and through the branches see the blue of the sky, which before I could only see while looking in front of me. The rays from the sun make me squint and smile and though it's hard to look at I find myself not wanting to look away. I have now realized that where I am at is indeed beautiful. And maybe instead of just looking directly at the bark in front of me (not finding myself so fond), I need to look up, look around, and try to take it all in because I truly am in a beautiful place right now. I only needed to look at the whole picture. I thank you God for helping me to realize that I really am in a great place right now. I need to take it in and enjoy it, not only focusing on the place I will end up next, because there too, I will see the grooves, dirt, and spider webs on the trees, and instead of enjoying being there, will only be looking ahead to the next location I will be coming to, never enjoying the here and now that is beautiful through Your eyes.

Hakuna Matata

Are You Ready?

"Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led, but loving and knowing the One who is leading."

This was a quote from March 19th from the devotion, My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers.

It is so relevant to me right now because I really have no idea where even my next step is. I am really trying to not worry about it and to put my all into where God has me now because if I only ever worry about what's next, when it comes, I won't enjoy it or get all that I could from it due to the fact that I am too busy focusing on the next thing.

ANYWAYS, God has really just been telling me that it is when I am close to Him that I will find where He wants me next. Even then, it may not be a walk in the park, but it will not be full of unnecessary stressing and worrying, not if I am truly and fully trusting in Him and focusing on Him.

This is almost like a post I am writing to myself to remind me to STOP trying to plan it all out, STOP trying to make it all work, STOP all of your pointless worrying and uneasiness. For it is when we draw near to Him, that He will draw near to us (James 4:8). To me those words make it seem so simple. Shouldn't it be simple? Draw near to Him and He will do the same...yeah, that shouldn't be too hard right? Well why don't you give it a shot?...try it out. I mean really try it out. Not just, "Hey God, be near to me. Amen." But with your whole heart, call to Him (Jeremiah 33:3), tell Him what you are feeling and going through, tell Him what's up. Get to know Him, really finding out who this God is, and I can't imagine you not coming to love Him.

And like the quote read in the beginning, this will strike up faith, because faith is rooted in the knowledge of a person.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that I am taking my own advice! =)
I am ready for Him to be near.
Are you?



Hakuna Matata

Please God,

I ask you to send me to Southeast Asia.

I have no clue why, but those people are on my heart.

You are a good God, and with this I know that You will send me where I can fulfill Your plans for my life, whatever country or countries that may be.

But You are a God that I can talk with, and share my heart with, and that is what I am doing. At the same time I seek You for Your wisdom and guidance in my life. I love you Father.

Isaiah 6:8
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here I am. Send me!"

Children of Burma

Children of Cambodia

Children of Laos

Children of Thailand

Children of Vietnam

Children of Peninsular Malaysia

Children of Brunei

Children of East Malaysia

Children of East Timor

Children of Indonesia

Children of Papua New Guinea

Children of The Philippines

Children of Singapore



Are you in love yet? I know I am.
=)



Hakuna Matata

A Question From God

"Sarah,

Am I enough for you?

-God"

Sadly, this question is sometimes difficult to answer. At times my flesh thinks I need more. Those are the times that I need to really cling to Jesus Christ. Because he is enough for me. He is more than enough for me. And it truly is the best when I come to the point where I really can answer, "Yes."




Hakuna Matata

I've Got a Secret

Lately I have been thinking and praying, more than often, about the people/country God will one day send me to. Last week I kept asking Him to give me an enormous, deep love for a specific people group (i.e. Cambodians, Kenyans, Muslims, etc.). A love that will be undeniable, a love that keeps me thinking about them throughout the day, and dreaming about them at night. I was praying for this a lot, and still don't think it's a bad idea, but Sunday afternoon I heard something that really got me thinking.

"Do you want to go the Philippines (or whatever country), because you love the people, Or because God told you to?"

I had never thought about it in this way but I really like it. I don't want to go somewhere because I love the people, but because my Savior has told me to. There are SO many different people groups out there that I could love, but God has a specific group he wants me to reach (maybe even more than one), and I want to go THERE! Plus, I am sure that whatever group of people God sends me to, I will, sooner or later, fall in love with them.

It's the same as if I loved a man. I believe there are lots of guys out there that I could love, be happy with, and even marry. But I also believe that if God is planning for me to be married at all someday, He has the perfect man already chosen for me, and I want HIM! I don't want to settle, even if it could be a great relationship. God has my best interest at mind, so why not trust in Him?

With this I am reminded of another quote from K.P. Yohannaman's book, "Revelations in World Missions."

"The secret to following God's will is rejecting the good for God's best."

All in all, I want to be where I am because my Lord and Father has brought me there. I want to do what I am doing because my Savior has planned it since the beginning of time. And I want to reach the people that Jesus, himself, has chosen for me.
I want and desire His will for my life above all else, and I pray that this will never leave, but only increase.






Hakuna Matata

This Is What I Want

I have been talking to my friends a lot lately about doing great things for our Lord. We talk about people such as Amy Carmichael, Hudson Taylor, Jim & Elisabeth Elliot, and so many more who have done such wonderful, selfless things for Christ and His Kingdom. But think about it, those are just the ones whose names have made it out there. I'm sure there are SO many more people who have done crazy, life surrendering acts for Jesus, but their names are unknown. That last little bit does not change what they did or how devoted they were to Christ at all. It really makes me think about how they truly were doing it for God and to glorify Him and not to magnify their own names. How not of this world?! I love it!

Now with that I am in no way saying those who are remembered by name were doing it for themselves, I also believe that those like the above names listed were out there to bring glory to our Father and for some reason their names became known and with that I am thankful. I am thankful because now I have some specific people I can look up to and say, "I want a life like that."

With all of this I came to a conclusion...

I don't want to live to be remembered,
But I want to live like those who are remembered.





Hakuna Matata

Who Am I?

This post is almost an argument against why to go without Bible training. Why to pick up, leave everything & everyone you know, love, and are accustomed to, and go to the ends of the earth for our dear Savior. When reading this I ask you to remember that this is not for everyone, as I will state, this is more specific to myself, and maybe a select few, rather than the wide range of missionaries out there. And even as I say this is more directed to myself, that does not mean my decision is made, this is what is going to happen, it's just, God is making me think, and that is always a good thing.

[Why go, without Bible training?]

While I do believe Bible training is good & would help a person in not only their future missions, but also in their walk with Christ, I have to ask myself some questions directed at me specifically because I have felt a tug on my heart about this subject. Who am I to gain more knowledge of the God I already know and have a relationship with, so that I can have a better understanding of His Word? Who am I to put my level of knowledge and achievement above those perishing without the hope of eternal life, those living in vein, or even more specifically to my calling, those trapped living in slavery? Who am I to say to the child sex slaves and soldiers, "Just hold on, in a couple of years, I will have an understanding of the Bible that will blow you away! You will literally want to thank me for making you wait 3-5 years while you are hurting, being tortured, broken, and looked down upon as either garbage or someone else's property? And really, our understanding of the Bible is something that, I believe, will never cease to grow, so why should I focus and dwell on just how much I know of God's Word, when there is always more knowledge and insight to obtain? And, who am I, to be living this self filled life until I am "fully prepared" to "go into all the world," as my Lord has commanded me to (Mark 16:15)? And seriously, what does fully prepared even mean? Am I really ever going to be "fully prepared"? Then what am I waiting for? Did He not say, "Go"? I believe that was His word. Not, "Wait, let the children suffer a bit longer while you sit in an air conditioned classroom, sipping coffee, and studying my Word so you may offer them a bit more. Then, and only then, is your time to go." No, but I also believe the word, "go," to hold a different time, place, and people group for everyone. I believe that for some it means, "Go to Bible school, then to said location." And others, "Go. Become a doctor, and then to the slums of the earth to help the least of these." And quite possibly, for myself, "Go. Go now, to the dying, suffering, sinning world, who is perishing without the hope of one day meeting their Creator, and without the love that only I can give to a broken child."

I also believe Christ to the be greatest teacher of all. So why then must I spend time and money being taught by people of the earth? Why can I not trust in my Savior to teach me all I will ever need to know? Now, I am not putting teachers down, for perhaps this is God's will for their life; their mission work. And for those who do go to school before leaving to a new mission field, these teachers are much needed and appreciated. But remember, I am asking these questions not of other Christians, but of myself due to the tug on my heart that I believe was placed there by God. So again, why can I not trust in my Savior to teach me all I will ever need to know? Why must I rely on Bible schools and discipleship trainings to help me gain a level of understanding in which would "best" help me to be Jesus to the world? I believe that if I give and devote myself to Him like I should, putting in time, effort, and heart, He can teach the same, or even more to me than any Bible school ever could.

Ultimately, I believe that God has a plan for each one of us, for each one of His children. And I believe each of our paths to be different. If we all did the same thing, all followed the same road, it would be then, that the work of missions, might start to tremble, and maybe fall. For how can I go, if the missionary made to send me, has left due to following his or her own plans and desires? And how can the sender do his or her own job, when the missionary meant to go, because of comfort, has instead decided to stay? I believe God to have a specific plan for all of us...senders, goers, doctors, teachers, and everyone in between. Psalm 139:16 says, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." And I also believe that whatever the calling in our lives, in my life specifically, is one the would be a mistake not to answer, no matter the cost, what we must give up, or leave behind. If in fact, God is calling me to go, and to allow Him to be my only teacher, then I must obey Him.

I believe, I would be a fool not to.

Apology

I just read Transformed From Glory to Glory's blog and wow, I am glad I did.

She posted some quotes from Amy Carmichael's book, "If-What Do I Know of Calvary Love?"

They were all great but one specifically really cut to my core.

"If, I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the cross, then I know nothing of Calvary Love."

Wow, I sit at my computer desk with no words left except,
"I am sorry, God."

Who Is "He," Anyways?

"Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.

Of what account is he?"
Isaiah 2:22

Personally, this verse just blows me away.
I first took note of it during my first week in Kenya. While I knew it was a true, sweet verse, I had no idea what God was wanting to tell me specifically through it, although I knew there was something.

So for about a week or more, I would say this verse over and over again just trying to find out what God was wanting to tell me. I knew that it was saying we needed to put our trust in Christ and not other people, but at that time in my life that was not something troubling me. I wasn't really looking to others for answers that could only be found from searching God. So what was it?

Well, it finally hit me. It clearly was not my own mind understanding, but it was God speaking to me. He told me that it was not 'men' on this earth who I would look to for answers and to put my trust in, but rather, it was myself. I found out that it was I, I was the 'man' I was putting my trust and hope in for my future. I was barely turning to God for guidance, I was trying to find my own way, I was trying to make my own plans. I knew before that it was silly, but it was then when I really took on the challenge to not trust in myself, but to lean on God and find my way from Him.

Without a doubt, this is still a struggle I am dealing with, although it is getting easier. I am aware & have a huge desire and longing to give my life over to my Creator fully. I guess you could say I am in the process of giving Him the 'pen' to my story. But I know wholeheartedly that this is no mistake, this is how it was intended, and it is turning into a beautiful love story with me and my Bride-Groom. I love it and only hope to continue to give a little (or a lot) more to Him each day. Because after all, what did He die for? Oh yes,
my life.





Hakuna Matata

It's Like Pulling Teeth

This is another post I wrote while in Kenya...

It's so hard to believe that we only have one more communication day after this..time is just flying. I am enjoying myself and the things God is teaching me so much and can't wait to bring them back to the states.

So on Wednesdays we usually work at the hospital, but yesterday I got to do something new, I got to work in the dental clinic. I have been interested in dental work for quite a few years, but have done nothing about it and had not expected to. For some reason thought I asked about their clinic and was able to work with them yesterday. Oh my goodness, I totally want to be working in a dental clinic someday. It was so much fun! I got to help clean and polish some guy's teeth, and I watched a tooth extraction. It was crazy. The girl I worked with (Naomi) introduced me as her assistant, Sarah. =) How fun! While Naomi was working to get that tooth out I kept thinking to myself, dang that much HURT! But then I kept reminding myself that the lady was numb on that side of her mouth. Something was there at the specific time to protect her from the pain she could be dealing with. Of course she still felt a small bit of pain, and she probably can feel it today, there is clearly a gap where her old tooth was and because of that gap she will always remember there was a tooth there and remember the pain she faced to get it out, but it doesn't hurt like it use to. It was something in her mouth that was bothering her and taking focus off of other things and if she would have done nothing about it, it would have only gotten worse, but now it was out and things are going to be fine. Thinking about all of that really just realates it to the Christian life. Sometimes we have things in our lives that can take our focus off of God, sometimes they are things that hurt pretty bad. Maybe we try to just deal with it and let it be, but truth be told, if we just leave it there it's only going to worse. But if we call on God to be our novocaine, to help us through things in our lives, He is going to help numb the pain. And not numb it in a way where we won't have to deal with it, but in a way where we can deal with it and get through the pain because God has made it less. We will still have the 'gap' when it's over, and we will not forget what happened, but I believe that's a good thing. I believe it's good to not forget, to move on, but know where we came from and what has shaped us in our past...what has made us who we are today. All in all, if we let God be our novocaine, things will work out, and pulling teeth won't be as excruciating as we all make it sound.



Hakuna Matata

My Prayer

"'He makes His ministers a flame of fire.' Am I ignitable? God deliver me from the dread asbestos of 'other things.' Saturate me with the oil of the Spirit that I may be a flame. But flame is transient, often short-lived. Canst thou bear this, my soul-short life? In me there dwells the Spirit of the Great Short-Lived, whose zeal for God's house consumed Him. 'Make me Thy Fuel, Flame of God.'"

-Jim Elliot


This is my prayer

Oh, How Beautiful

How gorgeous right?
These are some flowers I saw in Kenya...

For, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
How then can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."

Romans 10:13-15


How about that?
God thinks the feet of us who spread
His Word are beautiful...
even more beautiful than these
flowers of the earth,
for they will pass away.



Hakuna Matata

Ring, Ring, Ring...

"Hello?"

"Hi Sarah."

"Hi, Dad! How are you?"

"I am great, but a little saddened at the same time. That's why I'm calling."

"Well, what's up? Tell me."

"Remember on June 24, 2006, when you claimed your life not as your own, but as Mine?"

"Oh yes, when I decided to give my all to You. I remember."

"Yup, that would be it. Anyways, this isn't a special call I am making just to you, I am actually calling all of your brothers and sisters as well, sort of as a reminder. You say you remember, but you keep living that ordinary life, and to be honest, that kind of hurts me. Why do you say one thing, say you are giving up this world, this life, but still go on as nothing has changed at all? Or maybe you listen to more Christian music, tithe every once and a while, but really, what are you doing for Me that is sacrificial? I love you, and your siblings as well. I want the best for you, I want to see you truly LIVING life, but to do that you must die. You must die to self everyday. Not living for yourself, but for Me, to serve Me and My people. Think of your older sisters, Gladys Aylwards, Amy Carmichael, Jackie Pullengers, Sabina Wurmbrand, Elisabeth Elliot, & don't forget your brothers, Hudson Taylor, Richard Wurmbrand, Jim Elliot...they did great things for me, not holding back. And with doing so, do you think they hated life, had a terrible one, not ever pleased or satisfied? Not at all! They were the few who truly LIVED. They were the few who found their life by dying to self. I just wish that you would take your promise made to Me as seriously as your brothers and sisters did."

"Uhh...wow. I, I'm really sorry. I...I don't even know what to say..."

"Don't say anything. Act. Go. Do. LIVE. And remember, this isn't a special call I am giving to just you...it is a call I am giving to all my children. It is a call for those who will hopefully, one day, recognize and obey the sacred call that I have placed upon those who claim to know Me.

And if for you, it's not today that you will die for Me, as once I have died for you, then I'll call again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. You can count on it.

I love you, Sarah.

Goodbye."

"Bye, Dad."

Kenya Dig It?

This past fall (Sep.-Dec.) I spent my time in Kenya serving God and His people. =)
Let me give you a glimpse into our week...

Monday: This is my class I taught with my friend Megan. We would do lots of memory verses, Bible scavenger hunts, and writing. They are the best!

Tuesday: Our team would travel an hour in bus to a tribal village where we would walk from boma (hut) to boma doing house visits (talking about Jesus, praying, encouraging, etc.)

Wednesday: There was a hospital in Kijabe (the town we stayed) and we would visit the patients to encourage and pray with them. The last month I was able to work in their Dental Clinic. They had me doing so much hands on stuff it was crazy...not an experience that I would get in the US. This is my leader, Angie, she was nice enough to let me clean her teeth! =)

Thursday: This was our day off with every other week being communication day. On that day we would travel to Nairobi to email family & friends. On the non-communication days we would hang out with the locals.

Friday: Walking an hour through the woods in skirts and flip-flops to Old Kijabe Town was our Friday. Once we arrived we would teach at more schools or do more house visits. The kids there don't have as much hair so they LOVE to pet white people (and I love to be pet). =)

Saturday: Either doing house visits in Kijabe, or going down to the Great Rift Valley where we would visit IDP Camps (Internally Displaced People). These people have been living in tents for the past 2 years, most of them with no jobs. Our team was able to bring them food, encouragement for the adults, and fun & games for the kids.

Kibera Slum: Our last week in Kenya we visited Kibera; Africa's second largest slum. It was so crazy the amount of people living there. Very eye opening for our group.

Baby Orphanage: Our last week we also visited a baby orphanage where our duty was to strictly love the kids! What an amazing job description.

Going to Kenya was such an incredible experience that I will never forget! From that trip I have changed a couple different things about my thinking, my relationship with Christ, and more. It's a change I truly love and thank God for as well. I also KNOW that I not only want to be a missionary overseas, but that that is what God made me for. It's the best feeling ever. =) I will be posting some of my journal entries from Kenya as I go (I journaled everyday!). Until next time...

Hakuna Matata