I Call to You [Part 2]

The main thought I had in my mind last night never came out when I wrote my post, but I decided to role with it and now I think I'll continue on...

"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?"  Luke 6:46

When reading this verse last night, I was brought back to earlier verses in Luke chapter 6.  Verses that made me cry, "Woe is me," and desire for this life of pleasing flesh to die a death that will never return. 

Luke 6:27-36
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who abuse you.  To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.  Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods, do not demand them back.  And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 
If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you?  Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

Wow.  Major fail on my part for sure.  Thank the Lord for His grace.  Why would I ever think it's okay to cry out to my God like I meant it, and then go back just a few verses and actually confess a heart of falsehood before Him, all the while thinking nothing is wrong with that pattern of living?  That's not living in the slightest!  That's being dead, dead to Christ.  Totally opposing what the Bible tells us all over the place.  Galatians 2:10, "now that I'm dead, I am alive (in Christ)."

Even starting in verse 27 where it says to "love your enemies,"  am I even doing that?  I guess I always thought I didn't have that much of a difficult time with loving my enemies, for one reason I never have found myself to have very many enemies in the first place, and for two, thinking upon it a little deeper, it's probably because I never even think about my enemies because when I do I become bitter and angry, showing my heart of flesh instead of the new heart given by Christ, a heart that can be cultivated into seeing others, even my so called "enemies" the way that Christ sees them...as His children whom He longs for a relationship with.

Thinking about it and reading on even more, I have so much to work on.  Thankfully that is why Christ came, He came to redeem me so that glory may be given to it's rightful Owner.  In Him strength can be found to love my enemies with a true heart, pray for my abusers as I pray for those closest to me, be thankful for all He has given me and ready to give it away in an instant without a grudging heart.  I want to love.  I want to love with His chesed (heh' said) love, the same love that captured my heart, a love so true it never turns, it is committed in all circumstances, this love will never leave and is willing to forgive even the darkest of sin.  I want that.  I have received God's chesed love as a free gift in my life, it would only be selfish and childish to horde that love He so freely gave to me.  If I am loving with anything less than my whole being, what is my worth? 1 Corinthians 13


Hakuna Matata

Four

June 24, 2006.

Four years ago today.

The Heavens were getting ready for a big party in my honor.

Little did I know, this party would be life changing, and eternity lasting.

Four years ago today,

I gave my life back to it's rightful owner.

I remember sneeking down to the prayer tent so nobody in our group knew where I was going. Up until this point, I had fooled eveyone around me (including myself). I had answers for all the Bible study lessons, I was crazy about the Christian bands that were playing, I told others of my plans to become an overseas missionary (yeah, that was my plan even before I was saved...weird huh?). I had painted a picture of myself that was not myself at all. Maybe it was someone I wanted to be? Or maybe it was who I knew I should be.

I remember tears.

There was a realization that who I was and how I was living was painful for God to see. That He created me with different plans in mind. It was then when I decided to change. To throw off my old self and be covered with Christ and all He had in store for me.

I knew it was God. Not the group I was with or the bands that were playing. Not even the speaker who moved me to go down to the prayer tent. It was all God. He definitely used those people, but they were completely oblivious to it. It was God who used them, to get to me.

He saught me out.

He chased after me.

He made real His chesed love.

 Che-sed (heh' said) [from the Hebrew word "love"]

1. Love that sticks with us even when we leave.

2. Love that never turns.

3. Love that is committed to you in all circumstances.

4. Love that is willing to forgive even the darkest sin.

I know that I could never have that strong of a love, especially for someone who willingly, knowlying chooses to go the other direction.

 

I love you God and I am so much more thankful for You choosing me than I ever let You know.

The Terrifying Beauty of the Cross

This is a post from my friend, Kelsea's blog. She is an amazing child of God that has been given the gift of writing. I found this post resembled my exact thoughts, feelings, and emotions today as I remember what my Father went through to save a sinner like myself.

There is so much beauty and grief stricken tears associated with that of the crucifixion. I do believe that the Easter season is quickly becoming my favorite time of year. I feel like my knowledge on the meaning of everything has expanded incredibly this year, and as a result, the impact emotionally has been great. I have felt myself purged of all strength, submitting to the power within the love of one so great, to die for someone so terrible as myself. As I observed the interpretation portrayed of the crucifixion in “The Passion,” I shuddered at every lash stricken upon his body, not because of the blood or because it looked painful, but because I imagined that every time He was struck, I was the one doing the lashing, every time I have blatantly or absentmindedly decided that my way of doing things, or the way I want my life to be is better than the beautiful plans He has for me. I also could not stop thinking, “why?” Why would anyone ever knowingly take on such torture. Not only was He physically beaten, bloodied, and bruised, but He was humiliated, mocked, spit on, and betrayed…..and He knew of this fate His entire life. The only explaination is a love I cannot comprehend, and a desire to be with me, that makes no sense at all.

I look at my life and see my downfalls and my shortcomings. I see my sin and my despair and I wonder, why would He die for this? and then I remember the joy, the hope, the peace, the LIFE that comes from knowing Him….and I think those gifts are the reason. He did not die only for my benefit, but because He desired to give, and to love, and to be with me….not because He needs me, but because I need him.

There is really no explanation that I can comprehend, but the explanation is not the point, the point- what really matters- is how I am going to live knowing that He sacrificed everything for me. This should not just be a realization that hits me once a year….but every single day. oh boy do I have a lot of growing to do.

“I breathe at the foot of Your cross, and I weep at the foot of Your cross, and I’ll bleed at the foot of Your Cross…till I believe, Jesus I’m Yours. I live only because Your alive. and I will love you, love through the pain, till only love remains. I’m Yours, oh Jesus I’m Yours.”

Hakuna Matata

The Terrifying Beauty of the Cross

This is a post from my friend, Kelsea's blog. She is an amazing child of God that has been given the gift of writing. I found this post resembled my exactly thoughts, feelings, and emotions today as I remember what my Father went through to save a sinner like myself.

There is so much
beauty and grief stricken tears associated with that of the crucifixion. I
do
believe that the Easter season is quickly becoming my favorite time
of
year. I
feel like my knowledge on the meaning of everything has
expanded
incredibly this
year, and as a result, the impact emotionally
has been
great. I have felt myself
purged of all strength, submitting to
the power
within the love of one so great,
to die for someone so
terrible as myself.
As I observed the interpretation
portrayed of the
crucifixion in “The
Passion,” I shuddered at every lash
stricken upon
his body, not because of
the blood or because it looked painful,
but
because I imagined that every
time He was struck, I was the one doing the
lashing, every time I have
blatantly or absentmindedly decided that my
way of
doing things, or the way
I want my life to be is better than the
beautiful plans
He has for me. I
also could not stop thinking, “why?”
Why would anyone ever
knowingly take on
such torture. Not only was He
physically beaten, bloodied, and
bruised, but
He was humiliated, mocked,
spit on, and betrayed…..and He knew of
this fate
His entire life. The
only explaination is a love I cannot comprehend,
and a
desire to be with
me, that makes no sense at all.

I look at my life and see my downfalls and my
shortcomings. I see my sin and my despair and I wonder, why would He die for
this? and then I remember the joy, the hope, the peace, the LIFE that comes
from
knowing Him….and I think those gifts are the reason. He did not die
only for my
benefit, but because He desired to give, and to love, and to
be
with me….not
because He needs me, but because I need him.

There is really no explanation that I can comprehend, but
the explanation is not the point, the point- what really matters- is how I
am
going to live knowing that He sacrificed everything for me. This
should
not just
be a realization that hits me once a year….but every
single day. oh
boy do I
have a lot of growing to do.

“I breathe at the foot of Your cross, and I weep
at the foot of Your cross, and I’ll bleed at the foot of Your Cross…till I
believe, Jesus I’m Yours. I live only because Your alive. and I will love
you,
love through the pain, till only love remains. I’m Yours, oh Jesus
I’m
Yours.”

Hakuna Matata

Unexplainable

I took this picture at one of the Maasi schools we visited. When we first arrived and started walking towards the students to say, "Hello," they all backed away when they thought we got to close. Some of them even screamed (a sort of giggling scream) and ran in the other direction or behind some of their classmates in order to get away from us. All we could do is walk cautiously and soft towards them, trying to let them know we just wanted to say hi. When I got semi close to a big group of boys I started introducing myself in Swahili. One of the older boys then told me, "They are afraid of you." "Why is that?" "Because you are white." (a little racist huh?) So I kept moving forward and stuck out my arm for them to see my whiteness. They started giggling and that's when I flipped my arm over for them to see the side that never meets the sun. Oh my they loved that! They all busted up laughing and came running towards me. They were petting and comparing our arms and just having so much fun with this foreigner. I loved it so much. It was like they now accepted me.
The first picture is us all comparing our arm colors. And the picture directly above is showing their acceptance of me =) I love and miss being in the middle of a crowd of Kenyans. It was such a joy that I can only describe as unexplainable.

Hakuna Matata

I've Got a Secret

Lately I have been thinking and praying, more than often, about the people/country God will one day send me to. Last week I kept asking Him to give me an enormous, deep love for a specific people group (i.e. Cambodians, Kenyans, Muslims, etc.). A love that will be undeniable, a love that keeps me thinking about them throughout the day, and dreaming about them at night. I was praying for this a lot, and still don't think it's a bad idea, but Sunday afternoon I heard something that really got me thinking.

"Do you want to go the Philippines (or whatever country), because you love the people, Or because God told you to?"

I had never thought about it in this way but I really like it. I don't want to go somewhere because I love the people, but because my Savior has told me to. There are SO many different people groups out there that I could love, but God has a specific group he wants me to reach (maybe even more than one), and I want to go THERE! Plus, I am sure that whatever group of people God sends me to, I will, sooner or later, fall in love with them.

It's the same as if I loved a man. I believe there are lots of guys out there that I could love, be happy with, and even marry. But I also believe that if God is planning for me to be married at all someday, He has the perfect man already chosen for me, and I want HIM! I don't want to settle, even if it could be a great relationship. God has my best interest at mind, so why not trust in Him?

With this I am reminded of another quote from K.P. Yohannaman's book, "Revelations in World Missions."

"The secret to following God's will is rejecting the good for God's best."

All in all, I want to be where I am because my Lord and Father has brought me there. I want to do what I am doing because my Savior has planned it since the beginning of time. And I want to reach the people that Jesus, himself, has chosen for me.
I want and desire His will for my life above all else, and I pray that this will never leave, but only increase.






Hakuna Matata

A Day Late & 5 Feet Short

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30


I HEART YOU, JESUS!!





Hakuna Matata

Apology

I just read Transformed From Glory to Glory's blog and wow, I am glad I did.

She posted some quotes from Amy Carmichael's book, "If-What Do I Know of Calvary Love?"

They were all great but one specifically really cut to my core.

"If, I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the cross, then I know nothing of Calvary Love."

Wow, I sit at my computer desk with no words left except,
"I am sorry, God."