"Beloved" Enter the Worship Circle

"Those who put their hope in you will never be turned away,

And those who place their trust in you will never be put to shame."

I was listening to some music just now when this song came on.  It sent me back a little over a month ago.  I was on a plane, heading to India.  There were lots of emotions during that long flight from Chicago to New Delhi.  At times I was perfectly at peace, knowing this is where God told me to go, while at other times I would hold back tears and ask myself, "What the heck am I doing?"  That pretty much sums up my entire flight, well that and sleeping.  Other than that, from time to time I was overcome by what was going to happen when I arrived at customs and was asked, "What are you doing in India?  Who are you staying with?  How do you know them?" and so on.  You see I am on a tourist visa and that made it open for complications when I would say, "Yes it's a tourist visa, and yes I am volunteering with Freedom Firm."  The two don't go together and I was told that early on, but was also told just continue with applying for a tourist visa.  I would then start to think about the other questions they might ask me about who I'm staying with and whatnot, why was I nervous?...because I really didn't know how to answer that.  "Uhh, I'm staying in a guest house...I know some people in India, but only through email?"  I wasn't feel quite secure in my answers.  As I was freaking out in my mind the song, "Beloved," bye Enter the Worship Circle came on my ipod.  When I heard the sweet words, I was at peace.

"Those who put their hope in you will never be turned away,

And those who place their trust in you will never be put to shame."

"Well God," I thought, "It's time I put my hope and trust in you for this situation...You are much bigger than any situation that brings me fear."

It was such comfort and peace given from God, it was exactly what I needed.  

We eventually landed in New Delhi, I got off the plane, and followed everybody else to customs.  When it was my turn I stepped up to the Mr. Custom man, gave him my passport/visa, and the address and phone number of some missionaries here in India.  After a few short moments he returned my papers and waved me on with not one. word. spoken.  I laughed a little after I walked away because of the greatness of our God.  I have been through customs a few different times in different countries and each time the questions I was expecting were asked.  God is so good.  He calmed my fears, gave me hope to trust in Him, and worked everything out for His glory.  Praise be to God!

Hakuna Matata

Surrender [Part Two]

"I want to have a life of surrender for the rest of my earthy days."

"Surrender to God - we are not defeated, but sin is the one defeated, eternal separation from God is defeated, death has lost, a life of hopelessness, despair, and purposelessness is defeated."

"Freedom is born in surrender - we are free from the bondage of sin and death."

"I pray for surrender, for Your will and less of my desires."

"Self-denial."

"Submission."

"Surrender."

I was looking through my journal from last year when I was preparing for Kenya & found these words in which you have read above. Looking back, I laugh.

I had NO idea what I was getting into, nor did I take it seriously at that point in time. I remember trying to surrender before I left. I really tried. It was something I felt pressing on my heart, but was an infant when it came to the depth of it all.

That is where Jesus comes in.

I have no clue, but felt the need to continue praying for it, and you know what, Jesus answered my prayers in ways I never could have imagined & ways I never would have wanted. Though things have changed (praise God), I am thankful to my Father in Heaven for working in and through me. Now I truly can say,

"Father, I have surrendered so much of my flesh, so much of this world, and I am continually asking for help to surrender more. I praise Your Holy name because it is now that I can truthfully say,

you are enough for me."

I have realized that living a life of my own decisions, my own desires, my own dreams, is a life not worth living at all. The plans I now dream of are ones that my Father has lead me to. God is leading me somewhere with this whole surrender thing, and I am so blessed and grateful to be in such a position.

While in Kenya, a dearly respected woman I met told me you know you're on the right track when you can say,

"I'd rather drown with Christ than jump into another's boat."

mmmm...those words are wonderful to revisit.

Basically that's saying that even if it seems like following Christ would only hurt us and serve no good, we follow after Him anyways because our love for Him exceeds our understanding or worldly desires.

I love you Jesus. Keep taking my life.



Hakuna Matata