Who Am I?

This post is almost an argument against why to go without Bible training. Why to pick up, leave everything & everyone you know, love, and are accustomed to, and go to the ends of the earth for our dear Savior. When reading this I ask you to remember that this is not for everyone, as I will state, this is more specific to myself, and maybe a select few, rather than the wide range of missionaries out there. And even as I say this is more directed to myself, that does not mean my decision is made, this is what is going to happen, it's just, God is making me think, and that is always a good thing.

[Why go, without Bible training?]

While I do believe Bible training is good & would help a person in not only their future missions, but also in their walk with Christ, I have to ask myself some questions directed at me specifically because I have felt a tug on my heart about this subject. Who am I to gain more knowledge of the God I already know and have a relationship with, so that I can have a better understanding of His Word? Who am I to put my level of knowledge and achievement above those perishing without the hope of eternal life, those living in vein, or even more specifically to my calling, those trapped living in slavery? Who am I to say to the child sex slaves and soldiers, "Just hold on, in a couple of years, I will have an understanding of the Bible that will blow you away! You will literally want to thank me for making you wait 3-5 years while you are hurting, being tortured, broken, and looked down upon as either garbage or someone else's property? And really, our understanding of the Bible is something that, I believe, will never cease to grow, so why should I focus and dwell on just how much I know of God's Word, when there is always more knowledge and insight to obtain? And, who am I, to be living this self filled life until I am "fully prepared" to "go into all the world," as my Lord has commanded me to (Mark 16:15)? And seriously, what does fully prepared even mean? Am I really ever going to be "fully prepared"? Then what am I waiting for? Did He not say, "Go"? I believe that was His word. Not, "Wait, let the children suffer a bit longer while you sit in an air conditioned classroom, sipping coffee, and studying my Word so you may offer them a bit more. Then, and only then, is your time to go." No, but I also believe the word, "go," to hold a different time, place, and people group for everyone. I believe that for some it means, "Go to Bible school, then to said location." And others, "Go. Become a doctor, and then to the slums of the earth to help the least of these." And quite possibly, for myself, "Go. Go now, to the dying, suffering, sinning world, who is perishing without the hope of one day meeting their Creator, and without the love that only I can give to a broken child."

I also believe Christ to the be greatest teacher of all. So why then must I spend time and money being taught by people of the earth? Why can I not trust in my Savior to teach me all I will ever need to know? Now, I am not putting teachers down, for perhaps this is God's will for their life; their mission work. And for those who do go to school before leaving to a new mission field, these teachers are much needed and appreciated. But remember, I am asking these questions not of other Christians, but of myself due to the tug on my heart that I believe was placed there by God. So again, why can I not trust in my Savior to teach me all I will ever need to know? Why must I rely on Bible schools and discipleship trainings to help me gain a level of understanding in which would "best" help me to be Jesus to the world? I believe that if I give and devote myself to Him like I should, putting in time, effort, and heart, He can teach the same, or even more to me than any Bible school ever could.

Ultimately, I believe that God has a plan for each one of us, for each one of His children. And I believe each of our paths to be different. If we all did the same thing, all followed the same road, it would be then, that the work of missions, might start to tremble, and maybe fall. For how can I go, if the missionary made to send me, has left due to following his or her own plans and desires? And how can the sender do his or her own job, when the missionary meant to go, because of comfort, has instead decided to stay? I believe God to have a specific plan for all of us...senders, goers, doctors, teachers, and everyone in between. Psalm 139:16 says, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." And I also believe that whatever the calling in our lives, in my life specifically, is one the would be a mistake not to answer, no matter the cost, what we must give up, or leave behind. If in fact, God is calling me to go, and to allow Him to be my only teacher, then I must obey Him.

I believe, I would be a fool not to.