My Plan

God's plan was for me to come to India in September to work with rescued girls through Freedom Firm.  All of the details of that first sentence were made very clear to me before I had taken off. 

My plan was to stay for six months, but the more I have come before the Lord the more clear He has made it that His plans were different.  Two nights ago I changed my plane ticket and I now will be leaving India at the end of December (just about two months earlier than the original date).  This decision has taken a lot of prayer, thought, and advice seeking, but I have come to the point where I can honestly say I have heard His voice, and as far as I'm concerned He is calling me home. 

It's been crazy, I feel like I was born to live overseas.  Throughout my missions career I have never felt homesick, but have strongly felt a desire to settle in the land so my relationships and ministry could take on a deeper level.  This decision is conflicting in the fact that it is difficult and easy at the same time.  I find it difficult when I think of the judgment of man and how I think it will actually be harder to leave early than it would be to stay (for many reasons).  But I find it so simple when I think about what I want my life to be used for (glorifying God) and who I am striving to seek and obey in this life (Jesus), no matter how difficult it may be. 

I think of the story of Abraham in Genesis 22 when God asked Him to sacrifice His only son, Isaac.  The next sentence after God tells Abraham to go to the place of sacrifice simply says this, "Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey."  That is the kind of trust in God I want.  I want Him to be able to tell me something, whether it is, "sacrifice your son," or "go home," and as soon as I hear his voice I want to "load up my donkey early in the morning," with no doubt in His guidance.

There are times I feel as if I could stay and it would be fine, I mean surely God would bless my time here right?  I actually do believe that He would bless my time in India if I stayed the full six months, but to me that isn't the issue anymore.  The issue is God told me to go home, and I want to respond to Him the best I can.  I think of John 10:4 where it says, "...his sheep follow him because they know his voice."  Again, I have heard His voice and I cannot deny what I know to be true in my heart.

Of course this doesn't all make sense.  Why would God want me to go away from the mission field?  Away from a place where so much help is needed?  First I have to remember that wherever I am placed is my mission field, India, Michigan, and anywhere inbetween, I am a missionary.  Second I think of Isaiah's words in chapter 55 verses 8 & 9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  This may be something I will never grow to understand, and I am okay with that just as long as I do understand that God is above me and He has my best interest in mind...even if I can't seem to understand it myself.

My plan now is to obey God, and as far as I am concerned in my heart and my mind, that is exactly what I am doing by flying home in December. 


Hakuna Matata